I Did It Again

For many years I had low blood sugar. It wasn't bad after I realize what the condition was. I found out the things I could eat, when I should eat, and I was fine. But about eight years ago my low blood sugar and now I am a diabetic 2. I just have to take two pills a day for it. But for some reason I couldn't figure out why I was having so much more trouble with being a diabetic. I didn't even know that it had changed over until I had to have a full check up with blood work.

This evening I didn't feel I should even be writing anything about living the Christian life as I know that my diet is not right. Then as I sat here and praying to the Lord He brought to mind that I was behaving as I always do with authority and having to do what someone else tells me to do.

When I was a child I lived  in a home in which I had to do things that I should not been asked to do. And before that my childhood was taken away at the age of five. So whenever I have any kind of authority that I have to answer to whether it is God, my husband, my boss, I want to do things my own way. For in my mind is ingrained in me that when I was old enough I would not let anyone tell me what to do.

God showed me that since I am now almost 66 years old, have been a diabetic for eight years, it was time for me to grow up. Get out of the mode of that little girl. God is my authority and He is not going to ask me to do anything that is going to hurt me, but help me, and so I have a choice. To follow Him or live for myself. Of course when I hear it put that way I have to follow God.

You see if I did not have God my Father, or Jesus, or the Holy Spirit, I would be in worst trouble then I am already. So I need to stop blaming the devil for my wrong doing and face up to it is my own selfish, uncontrolled will and I can make the right choice. Be clean and go on with my Christian life with a clean heart.

Thank You Father for showing me the right way. If there is anyone who reads this blog and are having a problem with something in their life that they can not seem to get rid of help them to see why and then show them they too can make a choice. In Jesus' Name I pray this prayer.