Laughter Is The Best Medicine

I received and e-mail from one of my friends today and I wanted to share it with you.  Everyone needs laughter in their lives.

Puns For you To Enjoy

 

Here are a bunch of puns. Some aren't bad & some aren't good but all are clever I think.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

A guy got arrested for playing the guitar. He was seen fingering a minor.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a Play, on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

Why were the Indians here first? I'm told they had reservations.

We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first, but then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liver-pool.

I used to be a banker, until I lost interest.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

Velcro -- what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.